“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” ~Jim Rohn
They should be happy for you….right?
They should be happy that you are healthier, able to do more physically and have more energy…right?
But sometimes — more often than not — it is not so.
You are changing. Your family or friends are not. You are improving your health and life. Your family and friends are not. You had that “a-ha” wake-up moment. Your family and friends did not. Any kind of change makes people uncomfortable. And sometimes they will sabotage you or try to make you feel bad. (“You’re so selfish.” “All you think about is yourself now.” “You used to be fun.”)
How to cope?
- Remember that they are not bad people for not supporting you.
- Realize that envy is natural (c’mon, you’ve felt it a few times…admit it).
- Understand that they are afraid of losing the “you” they know.
- Try to get them involved in what you are doing. Suggest going for a walk rather than going to lunch. Suggest a leisurely bike ride. Offer them to come with you to the gym to see some funny stuff and people, and help them feel at home.
- Know that there is a season for everything and everyone. Your time with them might be over. Hold onto the good memories, ditch the bad, and move on.
- Find some new ‘playmates’ that share your passion(s) to help keep you motivated.
When I first lost the 80 pounds I was told by someone (who spent hours in the evenings watching TV) that I was “lucky” to have had the time to exercise. My “luck” had consisted of getting up at 5:30 a.m. and squeezing in some strength training. It consisted of bringing the kids with me to Spinning classes. My life was kids, health, work. No TV, no going to the movies, no doing other “fun things.” But I made it happen, by re-prioritizing what wasn’t on my list. That, apparently, made me “selfish” and “lucky.”
You can’t stop people from feeling left behind. You can’t stop people from being envious. The only thing you can control is how you handle it.
This all being said, also take a look at yourself in the mirror (or a selfie on your phone) and make sure you are true to your core being and that you are, in fact, not becoming self-obsessed. Sometimes when we first lose weight we feel so darned happy and good about ourselves that we start to accidentally brag, show too many “ab” shots, and becoming insufferable to those around us.
If you’ve lost weight, stopped smoking or drinking, or changed your life somehow, don’t judge others for what they are still doing.(Click to Tweet.) Don’t call them lazy or unmotivated. You were there once…remember how it feels to not be ready to make a change, or to feel overwhelmed as to where to start.
When you smacktalk those who are still struggling with their weight, look down your nose at people’s “bad” food choices, or frown at a friend’s glass of wine…then you can’t expect them to support you.
Live a healthy life no matter what. And know that you, in the end, are alone in this. Stick to your convictions.
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