Published December 16, 2013

The Number One Gift For This Holiday

by Guest Author
12 days of fitness day 4

Oh boy. I ate quite a few desserts the other day at the Holiday gathering I went to. I knew better, but I was tired and it had been a long day. I should have eaten a salad or some soup beforehand like I advocate, but my car had been in the shop and I was rushing to get home and grab my daughter and go.

But at least I didn't beat up on myself, because that's really easy to do.  Today's contributor, COLETTE BARON-REID, has some great insight that keeps us from doing just that. Self-bullying about eating can lead to more overeating.  Colette is a best-selling author whose work has been published in 27 languages. Her latest, "Weight Loss For People Who Feel Too Much" looks fascinating, and I think she knows a thing or two about from whence she speaks..


I’m going to let you in on a secret: you already own the best tool for cutting calories and that extra weight this holiday season. Take the focus OFF those 2 things.

Instead, I want you to walk into your bathroom. Stand in front of your sink.

Look in the mirror.

And smile.

Ahhhh…there it is! It was there all along. Compassion.

The holidays are one of the roughest times of year for one reason: we make them that way. We’re experts at beating ourselves down, running ourselves ragged, and stressing ourselves out—and for what? To take care of the people we love and make sure that they have a beautiful holiday season.

We forget that we’re supposed to have a beautiful holiday season, too

We become drill sergeants. Do this, don’t eat that, you’re not as pretty as she is, you’ll never get a girl like that, and the worst one – you’re fat!

The “f-word.” Yep, I said it.

See, when you start all that self-bullying talk, you’re activating the release of stress hormones like cortisol. With that drill sergeant running drills in our heads all season (and year) long, it gets to be too much. No matter how well we’re eating, or how often we’re exercising, that drill sergeant has one goal: to break you.

Oh, and he will. He’ll break you all right. And if your drill sergeant is anything like mine used to be, he’ll break you right in front of a chocolate cheesecake or a plate of holiday cookies.

Let’s be honest: the cookies don’t fight back. They taste good. And for a moment, we feel better.

And then we hate ourselves for what we just did with the cookies and go right back into that self-bullying talk.

Your inner weight loss drill sergeant

This holiday, it’s time to fire that good-for-nothing drill sergeant in your head. You’ve been carrying his weight around in your head for way too long and it’s a fine time for him to learn to walk for himself. Because you—you’ve got a gift to give yourself.

It’s that smile in the mirror. It’s compassion. And it’s the number one gift for cutting the calories and that extra weight this holiday season. Here’s how:

  • Watch your words. If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, don’t say it to yourself. And I know you’re not the person who goes around telling other people that they’re fat, ugly, or unpretty. When you find yourself ready to issue yourself a mental beat-down a-la-drill-sergeant style, ask yourself, “Is this the most loving thing I could say or do for myself?” Instead, give yourself a little “yay.” You look great in that skirt. You made someone laugh today. You’re a fantastic parent. Those are things a drill sergeant would never say!
  • It’s not about the broccoli. Weight loss is about reducing your stress and letting your body love itself and feel good again! And that means it’s not really about the food! It also means if you want a cookie, have a cookie. Loving yourself is a whole lot easier when you’re not so hard on yourself and you allow yourself to feel good. When you show yourself compassion, your body releases dopamine and serotonin. Both of those hormones reduce your appetite unlike cortisol (which your body releases when stressed, which tells your body to “store it up!). It’s less about the broccoli, and more about compassion for yourself.
  • Stop making U-turns. When you beat yourself down with all that bully talk, you’re negating how awesome you are. Your value is NOT determined by a dress size, or a number on the scale. When you love and accept yourself, you naturally choose habits and food that’s healthier. You won’t want to fill up emptiness because guess what you will be full! When you’re too strict, you put too much stress on yourself and you’re eventually going to break. Everyone breaks, just like a bridge under too heavy a load. By lightening your emotional load, you’re able to lighten your physical load – and that’s worth more than just a few smiles in the mirror!

So this holiday, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself better than you’ve ever treated yourself and see how wonderful a gift it can be

Count compassion not calories– you’ve always had it and this holiday, it’s time you unwrapped it.

Hold it up to the sky in both hands and let it pour down over your body like a golden cloud. It helps you shine brighter, revealing the beautiful person you’ve known was there all along.

Don't bully yourself


Colette Baron-Reid is an internationally acclaimed intuition expert, best selling inspirational author published in 27 languages, key note speaker, artist, entrepreneur and visionary. Earning her reputation of popular contemporary thought leader, Baron-Reid was voted into the Watkins list as one of the top 100 most spiritually influential people in 2013.

Her packed workshops are always fun as well as transformational. Baron-Reid always delivers her message of perspective and hope with her trademarked compassionate candor and hilarious personality. Her reputation for her laser sharp intuitive insights is worldwide with a client base spanning 29 countries.  Participants at her live events are always deeply moved, intellectually stimulated, energized and brimming with possibility.

She is the CEO and founder of The Invision Project and The Invision Lab offering strategic advisory services for select influencers, and education for coaches and healing arts practitioners in her trademarked energy psychology process: IN-Vizion®.

Originally from Toronto, she lives in New Hampshire with her forever husband, and 2 pomeranian fur babies. When she's not writing books and teaching global audiences she's riding her Harley along the seacoast watching for magic and mermaids. For more information, visit