Published March 2, 2010

Losing Weight - Day 2: M&Ms

by Helen M. Ryan

March 2, 2010

If you read yesterday's post you would have noted that I was full of vim and vigor and ready to lose weight. I am tired. And wanting this baggie full of M&Ms sitting in my drawer.
I stayed up too late again last night and am feeling it today. When we are tired, we often turn to sugar to "perk us up." Yes, we know it's a temporary perk but everything in life is temporary, is it not? And though it won't solve anything in the long run, in the short run that sugar rush feels just so fabulous.

Shall I eat those M&Ms?

No, I shall not. I would have, if I had not started this little public blogging experiment. I'd feel a bit like a cheater if I wrote all these motivating things, and then secretly scarfed down the bag of M&Ms. Besides, eating all of those M&Ms is pointless. I have nothing to follow it up with. Anyone who knows anything about binging is privvy to the fact that that one bag of M&Ms does not a binge make. So I might as well not bother. Right now, anyway.

I will say that the doctor was right. I need more sleep. I should not have stayed up working until 12:30 a.m., and arisen early this morning. But I did and now, at 3:30 p.m. I am suffering. I am back at my desk trying to work and my eyes are slipping closed. I will try an apple and some green tea, as though that would take the place of coffee and chocolate (mmm maybe some Pringles too. Pringles are magical in that the entire can will disappear before your eyes. Snap! Like magic.)

I know very well that if I can hang with it for the next hour my sleepiness and sugar cravings will go away. I will try hard. I am determined. I muffin-topped all over my favorite pants today and had to wear a jacket. Now I am safely ensconced in sweatpants - which is another reason I regained some of that weight. Sweatpants are the devil.

It seems that the 82 pounds I lost five years ago were easy compared to this. Was I that much younger? Was I that much stronger? Or was I that much closer to the realization that I won't live forever? Maybe that's it.

Women are motivated by emotional trauma and men by medical concerns. It's been 6.5 years since my father died and I think that "reality-blow" is starting to wear off. Maybe once again I am feeling invincible, and think that waiting for tomorrow to take care of myself is OK.

Well, it's not OK. (Squeeze muffin top here.)

Which is why I didn't eat those M&Ms. Because tomorrow I will also be tired....and no stronger than I am today. So if I wait until tomorrow to eat healthier, then tomorrow I will have another reason to wait until the next day. And the next. And...we all know how this ends.

6 hours of sleep. (Boo.)
20 minutes of upper body work with the TRX Suspension Trainer and free weights at home after teaching a moderately hard Spinning class.
I did more sets (focusing on my upper back, those triceps that keep waving long after my arm has stopped, and my shoulders.) However, I did not get to finish my session because the phone conveniently rang. I guess that means push ups tonight.
For food?

  • Plain oatmeal with flax seeds, nonfat milk and chocolate chips (60% cocoa - a must) for breakfast.
  • Protein bar after class.
  • Lentil soup with added green beans and low fat Swiss cheese on top.
  • A little trip to White Lime for 3 oz of low fat yogurt with almond slivers.
  • Scrambled egg whites with spinach, tomatoes and low fat Swiss cheese (I haven't been to the store, so Swiss cheese it is on everything) for dinner.
  • Greek yogurt for snack.

Where's the fruit? Uh.....I forgot.
But I ate lentils, which are amazingly full of fiber and protein. But they are also full of, eh, gas. Or rather, I am. I tried lipase and Beano. Neither are very effective. I will have to experiment. My poor cat.
Onward and forward.
Until tomorrow.

How did you do today? Share your thoughts below.

[Click on the Weight Loss category to read earlier posts...from Day 1 and on.]

>Continue to Day 3